Why I love scathing movie reviews

So Paris Hilton apparently has a new movie coming out called, "The Hottie and the Nottie" and, shockingly, it sounds perfectly awful.

I've read four reviews and none have been at all kind. But, I think my favorite is by the Boston Globe's Ty Burr, who wrote a review for today's paper. I've always loved Burr's writing style, especially when he hates a movie and he really didn't like Hilton's latest offering. The highlights include:

The problem with "The Hottie and the Nottie" is - wait, let me start again. The most crippling of the many problems afflicting "The Hottie and the Nottie" is the radical disconnect between the title and our perception of the movie's star. I'm not sure on what planet Paris Hilton is considered "hot" - one that involves hazmat suits and tongs, possibly - but it hasn't been Earth for some time.

Then there's Hilton. She delivers her lines in an unmodulated near-whisper and keeps her head lowered, gazing up at Nate as if she'd learned Acting Position #1 and then dropped the class. The film poses her in a succession of bikinis, mini-tops, and short shorts, none of which give her the presence necessary to actually hold the screen. Her head seems too small for her body and stuck on at an odd angle. She resembles nothing so much as a tiny blond velociraptor.

No question where Burr stands on this one!